Search Our Hearts, Lord!

Back in 2003, long before we had GPS or a cell phone, we found ourselves desperately lost on a road trip at night. We were almost out of gas, and we were in a dangerous part of an unfamiliar city. My husband pulled into a nearby run down gas station. We looked around at the dimly lit neighborhood filled with homeless people, prostitutes, and drug addicts. My heart filled with disdain for the community and concern for the safety of my husband and children. I explained to my kids that we were in a “bad section” of the city, warned them not to stare rudely, and told them that we most certainly needed to pray. My husband slipped quickly out of the car to fill up the gas tank. I slouched down in my seat, closed my eyes tight, and preceded to pray for God to protect us. After getting gas, somehow we managed to find our way to a much safer area and gratefully found a hotel for the night.

It’s a hard truth, but self righteousness always separates. Self righteousness is a form of pride that proclaims to ourselves and others that we are BETTER THAN. The truth is that we all fall short. Daily. I, like everyone else, didn’t want to believe that I had sin in my heart, but the next morning at the hotel I awoke with a strong conviction that I was guilty. The revelation I received through a supernatural dream that night was a heavy weight. I shared my God-given insight about the sin of self righteousness with my husband and we both wept. Instead of praying God’s heart at the gas station, I prayed only for our safety without any concern for the souls of others. Instead of seeing a neighborhood through God’s eyes of love and compassion, I glared with eyes of fear, judgment, and even disgust.

In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus shared a story with people like me. “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’  I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Jesus used this story to speak to those who were confident in their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else. Well, that definitely described me! Fortunately, God convicted me of my sin and led me to repentance. Self righteousness causes us to set ourselves up as judge. We begin to see the sins of others much larger than our own. We stop trusting in Christ as our ONLY source of righteousness; we begin to believe we are good and others are bad. I asked Him to forgive me for my self righteous pride and judgment; I asked God to change my heart and clothe me in His righteousness. In His great mercy, Jesus did the work I couldn’t do!

Today the very people I feared and judged are the ones He’s called my husband and I to serve! What if we had never repented of our self righteous attitude? We would have missed out on God loving through us and watching Him change lives. Furthermore, we would also have been robbed of God’s desire to see our own lives transformed! We are so grateful for the opportunity we have at The 180 Center, a mission welcoming the homeless, drug addicts, prisoners and prostitutes. We also open our doors to the wealthy, the educated, those with different religious beliefs, and those with different political views. Anyone that knows they are a sinner and is desperate for help from God is a person ready for discipleship! At The 180 Center, we have seen alcoholics and heroin addicts become free of addiction, committed to God, and productive citizens. We have also watched Him transform self righteous and prideful Christians into humble servants. God is calling us to examine our hearts, make a u-turn, and repent of our sinful attitudes towards others. He wants us to love others the way He loves us. At a time when America is so divisive, He is calling His church to true humility and repentance. Will you allow Him to search your heart?