Change of Heart

It happened at Tom and Heidi’s home. This precious couple have a way of reaching out and wrapping their arms of love around everyone they meet. Mike and I were fortunate to be part of their catch that night. We navigated through a sea of others to the delicious buffet of food in the kitchen. With my growling stomach leading the way, I filled my plate and prepared to dig in.

I didn’t see her until I turned and looked at my husband Mike, who was already seated across from her at the strangely empty kitchen table.  The teenage girl was propped up in her wheelchair. Her mom was spoon feeding her applesauce. The girl’s tongue was involuntary pushing the applesauce off the spoon and onto her chin. While her dad tried to wipe her chin, her hands clenched tightly, but she grunted with pleasure and smiled a toothy grin. 

Inside, my stomach turned as I thought only about how I could graciously avoid Mike’s urging to have a seat next to him.  It seemed everyone was headed into the living room. I murmured some lame excuse under my breath to Mike about needing to connect with a friend, and quickly found myself swallowed up in a crowd of others in the next room. Actually, I wondered if most of them were like me. Did they want to avoid her too?

I spent most of that night involved in polite conversation while conviction of wrongdoing painfully gnawed at my conscious. We said our goodbyes, but on the drive home I couldn’t help but speak aloud of my troubled conscious. Mike listened patiently, but didn’t hesitate to share his thoughts afterwards.

“You need more love, Ginny. You need to see people with more love,” he suggested lovingly, void of judgment. The words stung at my heart, piercing years of unkind preconceptions, but bringing a refreshing truth to my soul. As I fell asleep that night, I knew that God wanted me to see differently.

God’s perspective is so different than ours, but He longs for us to see with His eyes of love. In 1 Samuel 16, God sends the prophet Samuel to anoint one of Jesse’s sons as the next king of Israel. When Samuel sees Jesse’s sons, he is sure Eliab is the one he should anoint. After all, what does a king look like? Strong, tall, and confident, right? But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

I’m convinced looking at the heart can only be done by God, but I also believe the Lord does not want us to judge others by appearance. Let’s be honest, people who look different than us can make us feel uncomfortable or even afraid. It’s just easier to hang out with people who look like us, think like us, and like to do the things we do. As Christians, Jesus is calling us out of our comfort zones, to get to know people who may look, think, and act differently. How will we ever know if we don’t go? 

I guess that’s why I had to say yes when I was offered a job to work as an aide with special needs and disabled teenage students. I entered a world I never knew existed because I wouldn’t go there. My eyes opened and best of all, God made my heart do a u-turn. I learned to love people that I avoided my whole life. Guess what? It was one of the most difficult jobs I ever had. It was also the one of the most rewarding, because I watched God do it through me.

He changed my heart! Only by the grace of God do we see beyond what our eyes see. If we intentionally spend time with people who are different, listen, and step into their world instead of avoiding them or ignoring them, we are challenged to grow in love. God is faithful to help us as we take a step of faith. It may be a neighbor, a coworker, or perhaps a group of people God is calling you to get to know. Will you allow God to change your heart and go?