His Strength

My stomach felt unsettled and my mind was fast forwarding through every possible escape route I could imagine. The hand of regret wrapped around my throat, squeezed every anticipated breath from my chest and robbed me of hope for redemption. It was a horrible, speeding, out-of-control roller coaster that I recently boarded and there was no way off!  Sad to say, it was my life. To be specific, my newly married life!

We were stuck. Mike and I met and married in less than a year, so I simply had no idea who he really was. Worse than that, I had no idea who I was! All I knew was that I carried twenty-seven years of emotional baggage into a relationship with a man whose ideal picture of a happily married couple NEVER included conflict. Weeping into my pillow eased my pain, but it certainly didn’t stop the anxiety and fear that plagued my mind. One part of me screamed to run away. The other part of me raged. The rage was an inward self-loathing rooted in my consistent failures and disappointments.

At The 180 Center failure and disappointment are common, but desperate people receive God’s help. The key word is desperate. When someone is desperate, he is so weak he is willing to receive help instead of trying to do it on his own. You see, God is attracted to weakness. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:10 that he takes pleasure in his weaknesses, and in insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that he suffers for Christ. We become humble and and teachable. Best of all, we seek God. Paul didn’t say that he quits, fights back, or complains about his rights being violated! He actually declares when he is weak, then he is strong! God says that His strength is made perfect in weakness.

So, the first step a man takes when he enters The 180 Center program is simply to surrender. It’s actually hard to do if you have been strong all your life just to survive. How do you convince a man who has struggled so much that God loves him and wants to be his strength? You don’t! We share God’s Word and pray. That’s all we can do! But the Word of God is so powerful and the Holy Spirit helps anyone who’s desperate to surrender their weakness for God’s strength. When God’s Word and power transform our lives, it’s similar to a fragile chrysalis breaking open only to reveal a beautiful butterfly designed by our Creator. Did you know the caterpillar’s body completely dissolves inside the chrysalis? It becomes an entirely new creation! What’s even more amazing is that God promises to do the same for us if we simply surrender.

Now 30 years later, Mike and I look back and realize just how wonderful God’s plan was, yet we couldn’t see it at that time. In fact, if someone showed us then a video clip of life today, we would never believe that it was possible! Our lives did a complete u-turn when we surrendered everything to Him. We began to study and apply His Word, receive Biblical counseling, learn conflict resolution skills, and embrace accountability with those we could trust.  God used everything to transform our lives. We once looked at our lives and only saw our flaws and where we fell short. Today, we see His power magnified in our marriage like never before, but we know it’s only because of our weakness. It’s hard to believe, but today I am grateful for my lack of strength. I’m thankful for my faults because they provide an opportunity for God to be glorified! I especially give thanks to God who is with me, giving me His strength in weakness and failure. Today we are privileged to see God turning lives around every day at The 180 Center. We marvel at God’s goodness when we watch men surrender their damaged lives in exchange for the new creation only He can design. When we turn to God in weakness and desperation, He awaits with open arms. Are you willing to be weak?