Life or Death?
When my brother graduated from high school, my dad gave him a small handwritten paper with some “life lessons” he passed on. My brother tucked the paper neatly in his wallet and treasured it for years. Every now and then he would take it out and reflect on the wisdom of the words. He received the note as a sign of endearment from my dad. Almost 30 years later with possibly even more sentiment, my brother handed the paper to our son at his high school graduation so he too could follow the wisdom passed down through generations. Words can encourage and build up.
Words can tear down and destroy. The men that come into The 180 Center Discipleship Program often talk about the words that have caused deep wounds and hindered their growth. One man committed a terrible crime in his youth, and the words the judge used at his trial still echo loudly in his mind and bring searing pain to his soul. “He called me an animal,” the man cried. “Every time I hear that word, I cringe.” Even after years in prison, a heartfelt repentance, and a life truly surrendered to God, this man continues to struggle to believe he is human and worthy of God’s love. At The 180 Center we observe daily conflicts created by words that trigger emotionally traumatic memories. A large part of our discipleship program involves one day a week of focused conflict resolution. It breaks our hearts to hear the stories of homeless people and men in recovery. Detox can free an addict of the chemicals that he craves, but hearts need healing.
I’m reminded of a popular rhyme from my youth, ‘‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This rhyme was used as a defense to build resiliency against name-calling, but I was not convinced. As a child diagnosed with hyperactivity, I heard my siblings say I needed to take my medication because I was “crazy.” Reciting this rhyme could not create the resilience in me needed to withstand the shame and self-hatred I experienced when I heard this one word. I also carried unforgiveness and resentment towards my siblings for years because of this.
Only God has the power to heal hearts, bring transformation, and restore lives. Thankfully, He helped me forgive my siblings and see myself through His eyes. But lately God is helping me understand the power of MY words. The Bible says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21) Another translation is even more specific: “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (Proverbs 18:21 The Message) Yes, that’s the truth. We choose whether we give life through our words or give pain and death.
Let’s face it, today it’s much more tempting to hide behind the internet or closed doors and speak words that kill. Jesus said, “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.”(Matthew 12:37) We can vent, rant, criticize, and tear down under the guise of social media posts. We can share retweets, messages, and videos that do the same. But let’s not be fooled. Someday we will be held accountable for every idle word we speak or share. How is “idle word” defined? Idle means worthless, trivial, foolish, superficial. But guess which definition convicted my heart? Webster’s definition for idle is unnecessary. We will give account for the UNNECESSARY words we speak! After reading that, my heart did a u-turn and immediately turned to God in repentance. Truly, if we were to be held accountable for every unnecessary word we spoke, who could stand? Oh, but for God’s great mercy and love, we would lose hope! But He is a God at work in us, transforming us and creating in us clean hearts. He gives us a choice every day what words we will use and gives us grace to choose life. What will you choose? Life or death?
